Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day and for some people it’s a day of celebrating love & showing your partner how much you love them. And for other’s it’s a harsh reality check for either being single or maybe even being in a really bad relationship. Whatever the situation, in my opinion, I think Valentine’s day is a scam. It’s a made up Hallmark holiday to drive capitalism. However there’s something to be said about the underlying sentiment for showing someone how much you love the. That shouldn’t happen on just one day out of the remaining 364. When you love someone, you should let them know they are appreciated everyday and flowers should be bought just because & not because 1800 flowers told you so. But this post isn’t about bashing on V-Day. This post is about loving yourself more than how much your partner, family, or friends love you.
Guys, it took me forever to figure out that my self worth is not defined by the relationship I’m in or maybe I’m not. The truth of the matter is that if you don’t love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to love you? And if you’re able to somehow get someone to fall in love with you, if you don’t give yourself the love and repect, it’s possible you’re teaching your partner to treat you unfairly. Also, something to think about, it’s SUPER unfair to ask another human to fill every single void you may feel or slay your daemons. The pressure is ridiculous and honestly long term it’s not sustainable. I think that’s what happened in my first marriage. I used my ex to fill my emptiness and eventually it all fell apart. Of course it fell apart for other reasons too but the sad truth of the matter is that I stayed in that relationship for much longer than I should have because I was afraid that nobody else would ever love me. Eventually I learned to love myself and gave myself the confidence I needed to leave a really shitty relationship.
Some things I do to love myself:
- Monthly mani/pedi
- Getting a full body massage when the stress finally catches up to my body
- Give myself alone time and write in this blog actually!
- Work out (although lately I’ve been slacking)
- Girls night out with my besties. I can’t even begin to tell you how invigorating this is.
- Curl up on a couch and either read a good book or watch a TV show that’s just my thing.
- Positive self-talk and affirmations. I’d like to start doing this more on the regular but for now I find myself doing this about once or twice a week.
And even though I have two Valentine’s this year between my boys, the truth is, I love me more. Always and Forever. What are some things you do to give yourself the love you deserve? Would love to hear from you and get even more ideas!